PARENTING

If you are facing an unintended pregnancy and want to consider parenting as your choice, call us at 380-6883 or come in and talk to one of our trained volunteer counsellors about this option. We are a neutral agency, not connected with any parenting agencies

Ideally, finding out you are going to be a mother is one of life's most joyful discoveries. However, sometimes this knowledge appears to come "at the wrong time", links you with "the wrong person" or is complicated by other factors. Whether or not to embrace motherhood can be an agonizing decision.

Common to the other two options, a woman can make an "informed decision" by considering her own beliefs, what parenting would mean for her and what support systems are in place to assist her if she chooses parenting. We also encourage a women to consider her child and what the advantages and disadvantages to her child would be compared to the abortion and adoption options.

Each woman will look at her own personal beliefs and values around this dilemma. If she has a previous value about continuing or ending a pregnancy and goes against that, it may make later adjustment more difficult for her than for a woman who is not acting against her values.

As realistically as possible, the pregnant woman can weigh up what parenting might look like for her.

• Are you likely to remain unmarried, live alone and raise the child alone?
• Are you likely to remain unmarried and live with family who will help you raise the child?
• Are you likely to remain unmarried, live alone and raise the child in tandem with his/her father? (ie. joint custody)
• Are you likely to live with the birthfather and raise the child together?
• Are you likely to marry the father and raise the child together?
• Are you likely to marry or live with another man and raise the child or share the child with its birthfather?

There are legal implications to each of these scenarios which can be found.

The more "alone" you might be, the more you have to realize some of the 'tough' parts about mothering:

• your independence will decrease as your baby needs your time and attention (ie. social activities will have to change)
• this occurs even for couples but they can spell each other off in child-minding
• if a young mom has family or friends' support, it will be a great help in her having time off
• you'll get reduced sleep for awhile
• your school and career plans may be detoured or altered
• finances will have to be adjusted to include your child's needs

Some of the 'positive' parts about choosing to parent:

• you won't face any of the possible physical and emotional risks of going through an abortion (infertility, guilt, grief, depression etc.)
• you won't experience any of the possible thoughts and feelings that might develop if one places a child for adoption (grief, wondering where they are, how they are, what they are like)
• you will have provided your child a home within their biological family
• your child will be an exciting person whom you can love and watch develop and who will love you
• you will have acted very sacrificially (putting your child's future ahead of your own)

As you make an "informed choice" check out what Community Resources are available to assist you if you choose to parent. Look at Referrals to Social Agencies: Income Assistance, Education Options, Employment and Job Training, Health Information, After Birth Assistance, Prenatal Instruction (especially Best Babies), Housing Accommodation and Parenting Support. If you decide that Parenting is the option you will be glad you chose it down the road, many of these agencies are committed to assist you.

107-1505 Admirals Road
Victoria, British Columbia
V9A 2P8

e-mail:  info@optionspregnancy.org
phone:   250-380-6883

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