Okay guys, here they are. The facts. These are some things to think about before you become sexually involved with someone, anyone, whether it's your girlfriend or someone you met just 10 seconds ago.

  • You, too, can make a girl pregnant. This doesn't always happen to "other guys."
  • Condoms don't keep you safe, not from pregnancy, not from sexually transmitted infections and certainly not from feeling bad later on, if you decide that having sex was a mistake1,2.
  • Oral sex is sex and anal sex is sex. You won't end up with an unintended pregnancy on your hands but these activities count when you're weighing the risks of infectious diseases4,7,8,9.
  • Skin to skin sexual contact can transmit sexual infections. Condoms don't cover everything, and you are at risk to catch or transmit infection3.
  • "Intimacy," that old fashioned word for "doing it," actually means that you are involved in your partner's life in more than just a physical way.  It implies that you are willing to be there for your girlfriend emotionally and mentally and to be committed to her needs. If you're not ready for that, you're not ready.

YOU THOUGHT YOUR NAME WAS JASON,

NOW SOMEONE CALLS YOU DAD

Sounds like a bad country-western song but here's the reality:

OVER 40,000 TEENS & 100,000 YOUNG WOMEN (AGE 20-30) IN CANADA EVERY YEAR FACE A PREGNANCY THEY DIDN'T PLAN5,6

45,000

that's forty-five thousand.

and guess what?

Not one of them got pregnant by herself.

Picture this:

  • You get "the call." You know the one. The one where she's crying and you're mad and then you're crying and she's mad. And it's all because her period was late and the test read "pregnant."
  • You have to tell your parents. You have to tell her parents. You have to keep telling yourself, because you can't even believe it.
  • Now you're on a time line. Do you ask your girlfriend to abort the pregnancy? What does a respectable guy do, go with her? Send his buddy?
  • She says no, there's not going to be an abortion, and you find out that it's all her choice anyway. What about adoption? Give it away?
  • What about becoming a dad? What, like your dad? Like her dad?  You're not ready for this. One great night, one great party, and now you're talking about family trees.
  • Marriage? To her? What about basketball? You've got friends and a social life to consider here. It was just a one night thing, you don't want to grow old with this girl.
  • What about university? You were going to be the greatest computer programmer who ever lived, you were going to be the next Steven Jobs/Bill Gates with a little Shaquille O'Neill thrown in.

Don't see yourself in the picture? Stay zipped.

There is LOTS to consider before you take the step of becoming sexually active. And it ALL has to do with YOUR health, YOUR future, YOUR goals, YOUR success.

 

Citations:

  1. Anderson, J., Wilson, R., Doll, L., Jones, T., Barker, P. "Condom use and HIV risk behaviours among U.S. adults: Data from a national survey. Family Planning Perspective,1999;31:24-28.
  2. Cates, W., editorial "The Condom Forgiveness Factor", Sexually Transmitted Diseases, 2002;29:350-352
  3. Wald, A., Langengerg, A., Link, K., et al. "Effect of condoms on reducing the transmission of herpes simplex virus type 2 from men to women" Journal of the American Medical Association, 2001; 285: 3100-3106.
  4. Donohue, Paul, "Risks of Oral Sex", Times-Colonist, May 18, 2005
  5. Dedyna, K. "What happens to financially challenged teenage girls who get pregnant and don't get support from the child's father?" Times-Colonist, August 21,2001
  6. Dryburgh, H. "Teenage Pregnancy", Health Reports, Vol.12. No.1, Statistics Canada
  7. Spitzer, P.& Weiner, N. "Transmission of HIV infection from a woman to a man by oral sex", New England Journal of Medicine, 1989; 320:251
  8. Chen, W. & Samarasinghe, P. "Allergy, oral sex and HIV", Lancet, 1992; 339:627-628.
  9. Gottlieb, S. "Oral Sex may be important risk factor for HIV infection", British Medical Journal, 2000: 320-400

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